Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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