In the future we'll all be gay
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
