Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
