TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
