Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
