I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
