She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
