Me too!
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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