Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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