Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
