we made out on top of his cat.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
