Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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