I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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