how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
