Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
