i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
