It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
