when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
