All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
