So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize