There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
