You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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