a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
