Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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