Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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