im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you mean i was at the winter classic?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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