I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
