Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I have fence marks all over my body
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
