You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
