another moral hangover. fuck.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
