Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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