I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
