yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
