that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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