I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
