Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
