I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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