doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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