After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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