i may or may not be watching the land before time
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
