I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
