I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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