Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
