"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The struggles of a small town man whore
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
