wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
