I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize