Buhtt sex?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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