why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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