i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Two words: blizzard sex
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
