Banned from zoo.
Again?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
