Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
