just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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