saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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