I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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