I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
