After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I got inside last night via doggy door
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
