It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
