so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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