Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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