never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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