Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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