Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize